


1 Corinthians 13:13

by Suus_Arido



Series: Hymns and Verses [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angel Mating (Supernatural), Angel Wings, Cherubim, Emotional Manipulation, He be acting different for sure, Human Castiel (Supernatural), Human Jack Kline, I mean Cas is under a love spell, Love Potion/Spell, M/M, Mating, Mating Bond, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Mating Rituals, Mind Manipulation, Out of Character, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-01
Updated: 2019-08-01
Packaged: 2020-07-28 23:14:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20072203
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Suus_Arido/pseuds/Suus_Arido
Summary: Dean used to think that there was no such thing as angels. So when he stabbed a certain angel of the Lord in the chest things definitely changed. But the powerful Castiel is no longer a feared angel obediently following every command. He’s Cas now, dorky, weird and very stubborn Cas. And Dean discovers after a freak accident that there is more to angel courting than he realized.





	1. Light of our souls, thou spark at our birth

**Author's Note:**

> Warning, this was not Beta-read. Might correct it later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning! This story is not Beta-read. I have however done a check, and I hope that most mistakes are now gone.

It started out on a normal Wednesday afternoon. They were on a hunt in Ohio chasing a cupid who killed anyone who seemed to get in his way. They’d been locked in the hotel room for a while now. Researching the connection between the victims.

Dean groaned, ‘alright so to get it straight. They have nothing in common. And not any of them have any dirt on them. Why would the angel go for any of them? The only thing they have in common is that they are around the same age.’

Sam frowned, ‘well it’s weird right? All the same age, live in different parts of the city. Yet the cupid went after them for a reason. Maybe-’ It was then that Cas could feel it. An angel was approaching.

He stood up swiftly, angel blade in hand. The cupid must have realized he was being hunted. This could turn out badly… the door opened with a loud bang and Cas was taken back. A full-fledged seraph greeted him. Wings in perfect form, like he’d never fallen. He spread them out, like a threat making them visible for Sam and Dean as well.

Cas could feel his legs shake at the power display. He wasn’t going to back down though, already showing off his own broken wings. Before either of them could see who would’ve won the battle for dominance the angel's eyes stopped glowing. He stared at his vessel and it was only then that Cas saw the obvious wound.

Grace was pouring out of it. The vessel slumped, the angel gave Castiel a confused look and he fell unconscious on the ground.

Dean immediately stood up, weapon in hand ready to kill the intruder but Cas stopped him. ‘Dean wait! This is not the cupid. Don't kill him yet.’ Dean didn’t so much as relax, as simply inquire if Cas knew him or not.

Sam dragged the angel further into the room and when he got a better look at the wounds, it became clear that whoever the stranger was, he’d been drained of almost all of his grace. It was seeping out of his wounds.

Cas carefully approached, looking straight past the barrier of flesh and straight into the core of the intruder. What greeted him was someone he’d never personally met, but everyone knew the stories of Ramiel. Cas stared in wonder at the angel’s wings.

They were big, bloody but beautiful. He knew Ramiel had never fallen like his brethren, as he was an earthbound seraph. The wings showed some prominent colourful feathers, indicating mating season must have been close. Cas took a step backwards, ‘this is Ramiel, I’m not sure why he would come to us. But I suggest I heal him and we ask about his motives.’

Dean pulled a face, ‘you think he might know more about the cupid?’ Cas nodded, he was sure of it in fact. In anyone was well informed, it was Ramiel.

Sam nodded, ‘I’ll get the Enochian handcuffs. You sure you can wake him up Cas?’ It was a strange thing to be able to nod and say, he in fact, could. It was all thanks to Jack of course. The Nephilim had been helping him recover out of his weakened state.

And although his wings were also in much better shape than they used to be, Jack doubted Cas would ever be able to use them to fly again.

With a simple tap of his fingers, he started the healing process. Ramiel’s own grace seemed to be reacting positively, which was a good sign.

Once he was securely bound and healed up Cas turned to the hunters. ‘Before we wake him, it’s important for you to know what we’re dealing with here. I’ve never met him, but I know this must be Ramiel. He is what the Host used to call an earthbound seraph. Lily Sunder’s partner Akobel was also an earthbound seraph.’

Sam’s curiosity was peaked, ‘we saw his wings. Does this mean he’s powerful?’ Cas nodded, glad they understood the seriousness of the situation.

‘He was born a seraph, not changed into one like me. Angels like Ramiel are dangerous. We must be cautious.’ Cas explained. Dean took a step forward, holding out his angel blade towards the sleeping angel.

‘So if he’s so powerful, why did he end up here wounded? What’s strong enough to hurt a seraph?’ Dean questioned. Cas feared the worst, this hunt might be a lot more than they had anticipated. One look at Ramiel confirmed to him that the angel’s grace was already restoring itself as well. He quickly nodded at Dean, who unceremoniously threw a cup of water in the angel’s face.

Ramiel woke up instantly, his eyes wild as he looked around quickly. Cas could see him trying to push out his grace to free himself. But the handcuffs did their job splendidly and kept restraining him. After a few huffs and puffs, he stopped moving.

He studied both Sam and Dean carefully. ‘You must be the Winchesters.’ He spoke, his voice low and raspy. He was nothing like Akobel who’d been all silent power. Ramiel was a natural menace and Cas could feel himself fight with his instincts.

He wanted to take a step forward, put his wings protectively in front of his family, but he resisted. The brother’s both had a threatening expression on their faces but Ramiel seemed unbothered. Instead, he turned to look at Castiel. Ramiel immediately moved his wings up in a threatening gesture and Cas followed automatically.

Ramiel smiled now.

‘And you… you must be Castiel. I’ve heard a lot about all three of you… you’ve been involved in quite a few messes huh?’ He directed the question to Cas, who simply stared back.

Dean took a step forward, apparently deciding to take the lead. ‘Let’s skip the pleasantries. You know who we are, Cas here knows who you are. So tell us Ramiel, what made you decide to crash into our hotel room?’

Ramiel looked down unto his vessel. He seemed pleasantly surprised by the lack of wounds. ‘Well well, full of questions aren’t ya pal?’ Cas carefully tugged at Dean’s shirt. Trying to make sure he wouldn’t get too close to the angel.

Sam carefully put away his angel blade. ‘We don’t want to harm you. But we need to know you’re not a danger to all of us. We’re hunting a cupid-’ Ramiel interrupted him.

‘It’s the darn cherub who did this to me. The bastard was intervening with me business and the next thing I know she suddenly becomes too powerful to handle! I’m telling ya, she was a menace.’

Cas could hardly imagine someone like Ramiel losing a fight to a mere cherub. He must’ve seen it on their faces for he laughed. ‘A crazy story wouldn’t you say? But it be the truth I’m telling you. The only reason I’m here is that I sensed another angel nearby. Thought you might’ve been working with the wench!’

Cas could tell Ramiel wasn’t lying. He had a strange aura about him. He seemed almost human, possibly caused by the many millennia he’d spend wandering this world. His clothes were bright and colourful, his appearance that of a 40-year-old. The grin on his face not one of evil intent, but one of a child who simply lived too long to care any longer.

Sam asked the important question then: ‘And why would we believe you?’ Ramiel nodded and turned to Castiel. ‘You wanna tell ‘em I’m a real stand-up guy?’

Cas didn’t confirm this, but he did admit he saw no reason for Ramiel to have evil intent. Dean seemed to be done with the situation. ‘Ok great, so you wanna tell us a little bit more about your arrow shooting buddy?’

Ramiel frowned, ‘you’re the Winchesters, you’ll figure it out. I need to go-’ Dean tightly grabbed the angel’s neck. ‘I don’t care about your plans. Until this case is finished you’re stuck here. Unless you help us.’

**Ω**

The case should have been a breeze after that. Ramiel knew everything. He’d been dating all the victims. The cupid was obsessed with him and whatever juice she was using to be so powerful Cas knew they could take her down. So when Jack called he insisted that they were fine and that his help was not necessary.

Ramiel had taken an immediate interest in Jack. But Cas knew better than to trust him. The angel might have had a shared enemy. But Cas knew why Ramiel was only talked about.

He was a lot of talk, but Cas doubted he would help anyone but himself. And despite the fact that he’d lived in human society, he seemed disinterested in the victims or their faith.

‘So the next victim would be Quyen Wen a real estate agent.’ Dean looked up from his laptop. ‘Are you sure all these people are just your flings from last week?’ Ramiel smiled, all pride, his wings fluffed up a bit.

‘Mating season is coming, and I like me partners sensible and with a nice income.’ He explained. Both Sam and Dean frowned at his choice of words.

‘Mating season... is that like a thing?’ Sam asked. Cas could _feel _Dean’s gaze on him. Ramiel’s eyes widened. ‘Good Lord, Castiel has never told you where fledgelings come from?’ Sam shook his head, Cas recognized that look. Dean called it the _Sam is nerding out again _look.

‘Hold a minute, I thought you said angels are like… y’know genderless or whatever?’ Dean spoke up, giving Cas a look the angel found hard the decipher. Ramiel seemed to be enjoying the situation more than he should.

‘We are, no gender so we can’t do the sexy times like usual folk. But sometimes there be a mating season. And when I was still up above I hated it. All the lads flying ‘round asking how their wings be looking. Doing ridiculous courting and for what? A mate? You see Dean Winchester, that be the problem with angels. They like monogamy. They like it so much they will bond themselves to each other for bloody eternity.’

Cas felt a feeling rise up inside of him. He was sure it was the feeling of being horrified. He had his reasons for never sharing this information with the brothers. Mostly because it did not concern them. Mating season hardly changed the dynamics in heaven after all.

Sam was practically hanging onto every word. ‘But, why mate, as you say if there’s no… _result_ to it?’ Cas found the floor quite fascinating indeed. He had been involved in courting of course, but had never done any himself.

‘Brilliant question! You see it’s all them energy, you call it grace right? When two pair of graces bond it creates this huge distortion in reality itself. And if enough angels do this a rip will occur and just like that new angels are born. No parents involved, no one be siblings. And everyone wins. Can’t believe that you lads have never heard of this before.’

He turned his gaze on Cas now, and something in his expression changed. His wings slowly unfurled, like a peacock showing his plumage. ‘Why did ya never tell them about it Castiel? Out of embarrassment? There’s no need for that. Such a strapping angel like yourself must’ve had some fun back in the good old days right?’

Cas felt his chest puff up, it was true that he was no exception to mating season. But he’d learned to channel his desire for a mate into his desire to take care of his family. He felt a bit wrong-footed by the sudden display of interest.

It’d been a while since any angel had shown any interest in him after all. Back then it had been flattering, but of no concern to him. He’d only wanted to serve the Host. There’d been no desire to find a mate. And now it just felt plain wrong for Cas to even consider Ramiel’s advances.

Maybe Dean noticed how uncomfortable Cas was feeling, for he spoke up loudly. ‘Well, it doesn’t matter why you sleep around. Mating season my ass. I suggest we head to this Quyen Wen guy, and make sure he isn’t cupids next practise target.’

Cas quickly nodded in agreement, thankful for the change in subject. Sam seemed reluctant but eventually nodded. ‘Let’s see…’ he was quickly typing away searching for the victim’s address. Finally, he spoke up.

‘So get this, he lives across the city. So we better get a move on if we want to make sure to catch our killer. All her victims are found dead between eleven to midnight.’

Dean nodded, already picking up his bag. ‘Then what are we waiting for? Let’s go!’ They started heading towards the door when Ramiel spoke up. Cas pretended he didn’t hear but sadly Sam had already turned around.

‘Are you guys just going to leave me here? Bound and helpless to defend myself?’ Dean simply walked towards the Impala and shouted yes. But Sam seemed to hesitate. He turned to Cas as if to ask what he thought about it.

Cas in all honestly was quite underwhelmed with Ramiel. Yes, he was powerful, but he was also an assbutt who was way too fond of show tunes. Dean had started the car and looked out of the window. ‘You guys need a special invitation?!’ He yelled.

Cas sighed. ‘This hunt… it might be easier with another angel present.’ He admitted begrudgingly. Ramiel gave Sam a hopeful look. The hunter finally gave in. He took off the handcuffs.

‘I’m warning you once. One wrong move, one indication that you’re up to something. And I’ll finish what she started.’ Ramiel seemed less than impressed but still held up his hand as if to make a vow.

‘Roger that! Now show me that car will ya? She be quite a beauty!’ They made their way towards the Impala, and Dean’s stormy expression wasn’t exactly a delightful greeting. Ramiel was a smooth talker though and he’s apparent knowledge of classic cars managed to break the tension a bit.

The ride was shorter than Cas expected and soon they had found the residence of Mister Wen, who seemed quite surprised when Ramiel greeted him. ‘I told you to stay away. I have a wife I can’t-’ his ex-lover interrupted him. Ramiel tackled him to the ground. Behind Mister Wen, a woman had appeared and it was clear to both Cas and Ramiel that she wasn’t human.

‘She’s here!’ Cas quickly warned them. The cupid seemed angry but most importantly sad. ‘What are you doing here!’ She pointed angrily at the Winchesters. Sam held up his hands in the air, trying to come off as friendly. ‘We’re here because you’re hurting people.’

Cas nodded in agreement, it was so unusual to see a cupid go rogue. ‘Why are you doing this? Is it the mating season? This human is innocent…’ he spoke softly as not the scare the girl. Her broken wings lowered in submission, tears now clearly ran down her cheeks.

‘It’s all Ramiel’s fault. He said we would be _together_. And he lied. What? You just expect me to accept that? To just _deal_ with it?’ Ramiel had literally pushed the human out the door and closed it firmly to create at least a sense of a barrier.

Ramiel pulled a face, ‘sweetie, little dove, when I said those things-’ She shook her head. ‘Don’t call me that. You said we could work, and then you go around sleeping with every single human you can get your greedy little hands on. You disgust me, I HATE YOU!’

Dean lowered his angel blade, giving Cas a questioning look. Ramiel had made a mess of this, he should know better. seraphs did not mate with cherubs. That would be like an ordinary angel mating with an archangel.

‘I feel kinda bad killing her if she keeps crying like that…’ Dean muttered. Cas could agree with that sentiment. But she was clearly unstable and if she’d been able to injure a seraph… Mating season was approaching and her behaviour would only become worse.

Cas gave Sam a look, and the hunter nodded. Although with reluctance. Cas slowly approached her. ‘What’s your name? I am Castiel.’ He introduced himself. The girl stopped crying and looked up, he spread his wings a bit to show he meant her no harm.

‘I’m… my name is Chamuel, but my friends call me Chamie.’ She had a sweet smile, and Cas figured she was like many cherubs not inherently evil. ‘It’s a pleasure Chamie. Listen, we don’t want you to hurt us and we don’t want to hurt you either. But a lot of humans have gotten hurt. And we need to ensure people are safe. Do you understand what I’m saying Chamie?’

Chamie nodded, but when her eyes fell on Ramiel anger made itself known again and she spit on the ground. ‘I- I tried not to. But it hurts so badly. He hurt me.’ Sam slowly reached for her shoulder and gave her an awkward pat on the shoulder.

‘We’re sorry to hear that. But do you need to take it out on others? That’s not a healthy way to deal with it right?’ She pulled away and gave him an icy glare.

‘I know about your love life. Speak for yourself. Every woman you ever loved left you or died a horrific death.’ Ramiel tried to speak up but Dean held him back. She turned to look at the seraph with newfound anger. ‘He told me he would bond with me…’

Cas took a step backwards. There was definitely something abnormal about her grace. It had the strangest colour to it. Cas could see now that there was a half-formed bond.

She was sharing grace with Ramiel.

He turned towards him, ‘you need to either severe the bond or complete it. Because she’s going out of her mind because of you.’ Ramiel simply gaped.

‘What are you talking about? We… we never formed a bond?’ He seemed genuinely surprised. And Chamie laughed.

‘Of course, you don’t remember. I asked you if you wanted to bond and you said yes. And when we were halfway you said you wanted _nachos_ and left me.’ Dean snorted softly and Cas gave him an irritated look.

Ramiel’s expression cleared up. ‘Wait you said bond, like a mating bond? I thought you wanted to watch James Bond!’ Dean groaned.

‘So you gruesomely killed all those people. And all of it because of a misunderstanding? You think once the bond is broken she will stop her murder spree?’ He asked.

Cas nodded, ‘most likely. Angels get strange reactions to unfinished mating bonds. She was killing his partners in order to show she was best suited to be a potential mate.’

Chamie’s frown deepened. ‘Like you’re one to talk Castiel. Everyone knows you’re the worst of any of us when it comes to-’ Cas talked right over her in order to make her shut up.

‘Ramiel get to work so we can leave.’ He turned away from Chamuel, which was a big mistake. For she took hold of his neck tightly and threw him against the wall. She was indeed strong for the hit had actually made him a bit dizzy.

An agonizing scream later and Ramiel was staring down on him with a concerned expression. ‘Ay, lad you alright?’ Cas could feel his heart pound in his chest, an unusual feeling. ‘I’m alright. Thank you.’ He took hold of the hand Ramiel offered and quickly stood up.

Chamuel’s dead body lay on the ground, her wings scorched into the carpet. Dean was holding the blade that had killed her. And he turned to Cas with a concerned expression. ‘Cas! Are you alright?’

He quickly made his way to Cas and stood too close to the angel’s liking. ‘I’m fine.’ He moved away from the hunter’s touch. Ramiel coughed a bit to draw attention.

‘Although I am relieved the situation is over. Could you maybe let go of my hand now?’ Cas looked down to see their still intertwined fingers. A bit begrudgingly he let go. Although he didn’t understand why. The warm presence of the other angel suddenly felt a lot farther away.

‘My apologies.’ He didn’t notice the way Dean was frowning now. Nor did he notice the way his own wings puffed up a little. As if to attempt to show off.


	2. In heav'n the bells are ringing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ramiel is NOT the demon Ramiel fyi. Maybe important to mention. :')

Something was wrong. Very wrong. Dean could feel it, but he wasn’t sure at first what had changed. Well, one thing had, one major thing. They’d parted with Ramiel after that weird hunt. And he sure as hell didn’t miss that weird expression on Cas’ face when they’d said goodbye. Those big sad puppy dog eyes he would put on when he really needed to convince Dean of something.

Dean would admit it, he was surprised by the whole mating season ordeal. Not only that in all their years of interacting with angels it had never been mentioned, but also that Cas had never bothered to inform them. ‘It doesn’t happen all that often. Every 50 years or so to ensure our ranks don’t become too small.’ So he’d stated.

But Dean felt there was another reason Cas had never bothered to mention it. Maybe embarrassment. He knew had had sex with a reaper that one time. Although he hardly calls that sex when he took in the circumstances of that union.

He knew Cas never had any occasion up in heaven either. But he’d lived for so long, it didn’t make sense for him to still be a bachelor. Sam, of course, loved the concept so much that he started doing tons of research. Not that he found much information on it. It was apparently very sensitive information and when mentioned, it made most angels uncomfortable.

But eventually, he found a small, ugly, 77-page long diary of a guy who’d dated an angel. Aside from his graphic depictions of sex the guy had apparently learned a thing or two about angel mating habits. And Sam had implored several times that it was a thrilling read that Dean should consider reading.

If ever asked he would swear on his grave he’d never even opened the thing.

Something about the concept of angel mating bothered him and reading the guy’s sex life had not really helped. Apparently, angels tended to mate according to hierarchy. An archangel didn’t really need to mate nor had they any interest too. If they did participate in mating season, it was only to bond with the flock. They never made commitments.

Angels and cherubs were the most common combination. And the hierarchy had a major influence on how the mating came to be, for angels would easily submit to seraphs but not the other way around. Dean had been too disturbed to continue reading and closed the book. Instead choosing to get some shuteye while he still could.

When Jack was informed about the hunt he wanted to read the book, in order to get a better understanding of his angel heritance. Instead, Cas had prompted to tell him everything he wanted to know, so he could be spared from the explicit book.

Dean wasn’t capable of putting it down too long. The next night he powered through the rest of it.

The guy’s diary was boring at times. Sometimes he’d spend a page to describing the angel’s feathers, and or how perky her goddam nipples got. The guy even wrote a cheesy poem or two.

Things got interesting when his partner started her mating season. Showing him her new colourful feathers. She became a lot more attached to him apparently. For he spends about 7 pages describing that she was a wild one in bed.

The entries became more fragmented after that, but one thing was clear. He’d knocked her up and now they were in trouble. A Nephilim would do that for you. The diary came to a sudden halt, but Dean had the dark suspicion that their story didn’t have a happy ending.

Sam’s disappointment with the lack of data they had in the Bunker came to a halt when Cas agreed to supplement more. Dean tried a few times to change his friend’s mind. He could clearly see that the situation made Cas uncomfortable. But the angel insisted on it.

Whenever he and Sam had a talk, Dean could see the exhaustion on Castiel’s face and the excitement of his brother. But still, that wasn’t what really was bothering Dean.

No there was something else going on. Something a lot weirder and Dean was sure it had to do with Ramiel. It wasn't often that they made any angel allies nowadays. Mostly due to them being a bit notorious. But Ramiel seemed unbothered by their history and one day just walked into the bunker like he was at home.

Dean had frowned when he saw Castiel’s gloomy expression disappear. Suddenly he was all sunshine’s and rainbows. ‘You’re back.’ He said with poorly contained happiness. Dean could only frown at the weird situation. Ramiel seemed taken back at first by Castiel’s warm welcome, but slowly a flirtatious smile formed on his face.

‘Hey, there pals, sorry to walk in like that. But I never got to thank ya for the help. You saved me life out there.’ He sounded quite sincere and usually, Dean would at least take some pleasure in the fact that an angel was thanking them.

But the accent just sounded like nails on a chalkboard to him.

Jack walked into the kitchen with an empty plate, he frowned when he saw Ramiel. ‘Who are you?’ He asked. Ramiel seemed taken back by Jack, most angels were. He was after all the spawn of Satan and all that.

‘My name is Ramiel, a pleasure to meet ya, you must be Jack right?’ Jack shook his hand, a relaxed smile on his face.

‘Oh, so you are Ramiel. Cas has told me _lots_ about you!’ Dean turned to Cas and he swore he could actually see a blush creep on his angel’s face. Wait not _his_ angel, just… his friend.

Ramiel turned to Dean again, ‘so what I was saying- I’ve been a coward most me life. Never really fighting for any side. Never really carin’ either. But I want to change that.’

He turned to Cas now, and he was putting on these big Bambi eyes. ‘You’ve inspired me to be better.’

Dean swore he could almost see Cas _swoon_. Sam walked in next, and Ramiel explained his purpose at the Bunker again. Sam seemed taken back, unsure of what to do. ‘I mean- that’s nice of course. You wanting to be a better person. But we hardly know you, how can we trust you?’

Cas sat up straight quickly, ‘I trust him.’ Dean could hardly contain an eye roll. Of course, Cas trusted the guy. But why? He remembered Castiel’s face of complete and utter disinterest when Ramiel had talked to him before. What had suddenly changed? It was like Dean was drenched with ice water. Could it be the mating season?

Was this how Cas acted around other angels during the mating season?

He moved swiftly, feeling like the walls were closing in on him for some reason. Cas had shown interests in demons, he’d even married a Djinn that one time… but never humans. Never. _You would never be good enough for him_, the nasty voice inside his mind supplied.

He shook his head, knowing that if Ramiel had Cas’ blessing there was not much to do about it anymore. Sam would warm up to the idea, and Jack would be all too excited to interact with another angel.

So yeah, _two major changes_ had occurred. Maybe Dean was getting too old for this shit. Maybe he needed to retire, or in his case just die on a hunt. Cas was being too distant lately. He missed spending time with his friend. He missed talking with him when he couldn’t sleep. He missed the way Cas would make horrible attempts at telling jokes..

He just missed Cas. His smile never reached his eyes anymore unless he was talking to Ramiel. Every time he was even remotely close to Dean he took a step back. Like he was afraid to get burned. When they weren’t working on a case Cas could be found spending time with either Jack or Ramiel.

Sam didn’t think anything of it. ‘Jack really needs someone to talk to. And Ramiel is still getting adjusted to life in the Bunker.’ He’d reasoned. But Dean felt bothered. Whenever he was watching them interact, it was like they were speaking a secret language.

The more he got to know Ramiel, the more he disliked the guy if he was being honest. He was full of himself, chattered too much and he was sucking up way too much to Sam. And the worst part was that it seemed to work. In the beginning he tried it with Dean as well. He would try to talk with him about cars, music or recipes for pies. And usually Dean was all down for that sort of talk.

But not with Ramiel.

Ramiel had been with them for over a month when suddenly Cas announced: ‘Mating season is starting tomorrow. I thought I should inform you. Since we’re with two and a half-angel here.’ He smiled at Jack.

Jack seemed excited, ‘I know it sounds weird, but I can kinda feel it in the air y’know? Like something big is happening. You think it will affect me as well?’ Jack sounded excited as usual. But Ramiel shook his head.

‘I doubt it, pal, you’re too human. That aside archangels don’t bond. Don’t look so disappointed. A bond is forever, you don’t want that at your age.’ Jack nodded, probably seeing Ramiel’s point.

That was another thing. It bothered Dean how easily Jack and Ramiel bonded over the tiniest thing. He constantly referred to Jack as his nephew. Like they were one big jolly family. Sam took in the news a lot differently.

‘Well ok, it nice of you to inform us Cas. But is there anything we need to keep in mind? Is there anything you guys will need?’ Both angels shook their head. Cas gave Ramiel this weird adoring look.

‘No, I think we will manage just fine.’ Cas spoke softly with so much fondness that Dean felt like he was going to be sick. He wasn’t fucking blind, he could see how Ramiel was squeezing the other angel’s knee. Who the hell did he think he was? Dean grinned and bared it. It wasn’t his place to judge who Cas could like after all.

‘How long is this angel crap going to take anyway?’ He said instead, all too aware of his harsh tone. Ramiel slowly removed his hand from Cas’ knee, and he could fucking see the disappointment in his friend’s eyes.

‘It depends. For the whole flock it will last about a year. But for every angel it’s different. Some have a very short mating period, others a lot longer. Most have intervals between them though… you could compare it to a woman menstrual cycle in that sense.’

Dean almost choked on his beer. A year? A year of this mess? Dear Chuck.

‘I just remembered, I need to do some groceries. Yeah… no eggs anymore. Gotta- gonna be back in an hour.’ He spoke quickly, getting out of the room as fast as humanly possible. Leaving behind a room of frowning faces.

**Ω**

The mating season was definitely not what Dean had expected. He found Cas in the closet petting the extra blankets and testing them for softness. ‘It’s for my nest.’ He’d explained. Dean knew it was a bad sign that his friend was actually nesting. Because that meant he had his eyes on a potential nest sharer.

The tension was almost too much at this point to bare. Cas and Ramiel would get into these ridiculous staring contests. Dean was convinced they were going to bear their teeth at each other any moment now. But that never happened.

Jack explained the staring to him at some point. ‘They’re competing. I’m pretty sure they’re testing something. They keep spreading their wings when they see each other.’ That night Dean Googled _bird mating dance _and emptied a bottle of whiskey.

The weirdness didn’t end there. He started finding feathers everywhere. The angels acted like cats, they kept rubbing over random surfaces. Losing feathers in the progress. Dean knew exactly which ones belonged to who as well.

Ramiel’s feathers reminded him of that of a paradise bird. Big, bright red and purple colours with a few soft white ones in between. Castiel’s feathers had a different complexion to them. Starting out almost black interwoven with every type of blue you could think of. When Dean held the feathers in the light, he could see this strange rainbow-like quality to them.

And at night the white specks in Castiel’s feathers reminded him of stars.

It was only sensible to throw Ramiel’s feathers away, and keep Cas’ feathers in his bottom drawer. He felt like a pervert. Castiel’s behaviour was still weird. He was obviously infatuated with Ramiel. And if Sam and Jack weren’t around he felt like he was third-wheeling on one of their little dates. Despite the fact that he was the one suggesting he and Cas did something fun and Ramiel somehow always got in the way.

The angel although still friendly to Dean, must’ve seen him as a potential threat for whenever he even tried to fucking look at his friend the angel would give him one of those ice-cold stares that informed him he was probably trying to intimidate him with some sort of bird dance.

At this point, Dean knew he had two options. Ramiel was a good angel, he helped them out on hunts. Helped Cas recover his wings and grace together with Jack. And Sam liked him well enough as well. It was clear to him that Team Free Will was better off for it.

So the obvious conclusion was that Cas would decide to be his mate. They would be bonded for eternity and everyone could live happily ever after.

Dean could be thick-headed, stubborn and an asshole. But he wasn’t stupid. He knew he missed his angel. The Castiel who made his heart leap out when he smiled. He missed the Castiel who stood a little bit too close. And who constantly argued with him over the stupidest little things.

He’d missed his chance to say how he really felt. Rejection would’ve been less painful than this. He doubted Ramiel would ask him or Sam for permission to become Cas’ forever buddy. It wasn’t like they had any authority over the angel’ decisions.

So yes, it was only a matter of time now. And everything started to fall apart on a Sunday. When Dean started to make breakfast he noticed two things. Number 1: They were out of Sam’s weird fruit juice. And two: he wasn’t alone.

Already sitting at the table was Cas. The angel was dressed down from his usual attire into something that looked vaguely familiar. A closer look confirmed it, he was wearing one of Ramiel’s t-shirts.

He might’ve put the frying pan down a bit too harshly. But the jealousy he felt was too intense to handle. He wanted to bash Ramiel's faces in. The guy looked like a godly David Tennant, but that wouldn’t stop Dean from making sure he had two black eyes.

Instead, he made pancakes. Like a well-adjusted person.

‘Mornin’ sunshine.’ When Cas simply nodded and continued to look all gloom and doom he knew something was up. ‘What’s gotten up your feathery butt?’ Cas did the thing he usually did nowadays. He was spacing out and not even hearing Dean.

‘So I was thinking about eating Jack today. He’s looking nice and plumb wouldn’t you say? Ready for the grill.’ Cas simply hummed in agreement. Staring at his coffee, which was probably cold by now.

Dean continued talking: ‘So I was thinking, have you seen the new episodes of My Little Pony? I feel like the plot is really thickening at this point.’ Cas simply nodded. Dean finally gave up and continued with the pancakes. He knew how Sam and Jack liked them, and he knew Ramiel liked eating human food as well. But he couldn’t remember if the guy had any special wishes or not.

_Time to say the magic word_, Dean thought. ‘Hey Cas, how does Ramiel like his pancakes again?’ Cas perked up immediately. ‘Oh, he likes them really thin and flat. Not like a crepe, more like a Dutch pancake.’ He was chattering on about how Ramiel likes this, and how he preferred it so and so on. Dean had become a master of muting it.

‘Great, thanks. Good talk.’ He muttered under his breath. Sam walked in, like a gift from heaven. He squinted as he looked at the pancakes. ‘Hey have any of you seen Jack around? He wasn’t in his room…’

He looked in the fridge and pulled a face when he couldn’t find his juice. Dean shrugged, the kid tended to disappear from time to time. Dean didn’t worry much about it anymore. Cas spoke up though.

‘Ramiel wanted to show him a nice spot to practise his powers.’ Dean couldn’t believe his eyes. Cas was _sulking_. Sam was grinning though, ‘well that’s nice. But now on to the real question. Why haven’t you guys made it official yet?’

Cas actually fucking grinned. ‘I’ve wanted to.’ He admitted, ‘but we don’t want to go too fast. Mating season lasts quite some time for this exact reason. Although if it was up to me…’ Sam nodded in understanding.

‘I’m happy for you. You deserve someone who treats you right. I didn’t think too highly of him at first. But you like him, and that says something you know?’

Cas was fucking radiating. Like a fucking bride to be. Dean was sure it couldn’t get any worse. But that’s when he felt Sam probing at his arm. ‘You agree right?’

Slowly Dean lifted his face from the stove. Cas was giving him that look again, the puppy dog eyes. Forcing a smile was harder than he’d expected. ‘I just want you to be happy, man.’ He finally admitted.

_Well and if that ain’t the truth_, the voice in his head added. After breakfast Dean went down towards what he labelled the trash room. Not for long though. No, when he was done with it this was going to be his little brother’s personal training room. Sam kept complaining that the winter cold was too harsh to run in.

So when his birthday came around, he was going to be ecstatic. This little project had kept Dean’s mind out of the gutter. He needed to sort through the last junk and make sure it was properly archived. These Men of Letters never knew how to throw anything away. They should’ve been introduced to that Japanese lady who talked about cleaning.

She would have a field day in the Bunker, that’s for sure. Not that Dean watched her show. He only knew it because Sam kept talking about the crap. Shit about how things needed to spark joy or whatever. He would rather die than admit that he had read all of her books.

He pulled a face when he came face to face with actual romance novellas. He looked around quickly before settling down. This was gonna be good. The first book had a half-naked woman on it falling into the arms of an overly muscled man. ‘Daddy’s Stern Demands? Oh man…’ he couldn’t help the actual snort that left his body. The backside told him everything he needed to know.

He threw it in the recycle bin. The next book wasn’t much better. But the third book definitely caught his eye. _Seduced by Cupid _showed two men staring longingly into each other’s eyes. He laughed at the prospect of the title. If only they knew how a real cherub went to work…

The book fell with a thud, Dean stood up quickly. Staring at the title like he was being punched in the face. I mean… he was being crazy right? This was his brain simply trying to get rid of years of repression. Trying to find any excuse to…

… But it could be, right? Cas had started to act weird after they killed Chamuel. She’d been obsessed with Ramiel. Maybe… He started to move quickly, up the stairs like a mad man. If he was wrong, Cas would never forgive him. But if he was right, and he _knew_ he was right…

He walked straight into a concerned-looking Sam. ‘Hey Dean, have you seen Cas around? I swear he was here a few moments ago…’ Dean could feel the words reach one ear, and leave through the other.

‘I think Cas might’ve been hit with Chamuel’s love arrow. And that’s why he’s so infatuated with Ramiel.’ The words blurred out of him easily enough. But judging from Sam’s expression, he wasn’t all that convinced.

‘Dean I know it’s difficult for you to see Cas moving on…’ he gave him that look again. The: let’s talk about our feelings-look. ‘… But Cas is happy, and I know that means a lot to you. I think he’s waited long enough for you, don’t you think?’

Dean shook his head. ‘Listen, I’m serious. I know Cas, he’s been acting weird right? Like really cold and distant? And I know him, he thought Ramiel was a douche for sure. And then she touched him. And she was crazy in love with Ramiel right? And boom! He’s acting like a lovesick high school girl.’

Once again Sam shook his head, but Dean could see it. He could see the doubt rising. ‘Come one think about it. When was the last time you heard Cas talk about anything that wasn’t Ramiel? It’s like, the longer this goes on, the more Cas becomes this mindless robot or something. And even if I’m wrong, better safe than sorry right?’

Sam was paling now. ‘I mean… he was acting really weird. But I thought it was mating season stuff…’ Dean shook his head.

‘We gotta get Jack. If anyone can find a mark on his heart it’s him. We need to get this over with before they angel marry or else he might regret it forever.’ Dean was pleading now. But Sam shook his head.

‘Jack’s gone don’t you remember? He and Ramiel went out… and I can’t find Cas anywhere either…’ Dean reached for his phone immediately calling both numbers but getting no answer.


	3. The Lord bless you and keep you

Cas knew that two things were certain in this world. Number one: Creation would never end. And number two: Ramiel had the sweetest lips. If you had told Cas he would find his mate on a random hunt, he would have laughed in your face.

It was well known that his heart had been lost to a certain hunter for years. So he’d waited patiently. Knowing the road was going to be tough, but being certain his affections would be returned someday. But even declaring his love on his death bed had shown no results.

And every time he died Dean gave him a hug, called him buddy and that was as intimate as it got. Years of bitter disappointed got washed away now though. For he was quite a fool to think he could be with a human. There was a reason God never approved of that sort of union.

But Ramiel… things were different with him. Ramiel was funny, honest and kind. He listened to what Cas had to say. Showed him kindness and love. And Cas was not shy at all to share a bed with him. Being intimate with the other angel had been quite the experience but it was not what he truly wanted.

He wanted more. He wanted everything.

Ramiel never refused him anything. He loved excitement, adventure and everything human. The only thing he wasn’t ready for? Commitment. Cas could admit it was a big commitment. It delighted him to no end that Sam and Jack were so quickly adjusted to a new presence. And he kept reassuring Ramiel that Dean just needed some time.

Sometimes, he felt like his heart was going to burst. And on those nights he would pull Ramiel into his nest. And he discovered that the sex was nothing like it was with April. He could not deny it. He was in love.

Maybe love had made him desperate for approval. Maybe love had changed him. But he was happy. So when Ramiel left with Jack that morning, it felt like a hole was punched inside of him. And he couldn’t think, he couldn’t breathe. It was like the world stopped spinning.

It was almost unbearable. Sam had been talking to him, but he sounded muted. Far off in a distant land. His phone finally pinged and a message appeared from his beloved.

_Jack and I have a surprise for you. Come to_ _1521 Deer Lake Road_ _Wimberley, Texas._

Cas felt a sour taste rise up in his mouth, if only for a second. Ramiel kept forgetting he couldn’t fly.

_Can’t fly, I’ll take the car?_

He put his phone on the table. Ready to write the Winchesters a quick note. It was then that in a flutter of wings Jack appeared. He smiled, ‘you’re going to love this!’ He took hold of Cas and within seconds they found themselves at their destination.

The tree looked old and beautiful and in the fall the leaves had turned a dozen beautiful shades of red and yellow. Standing under it was the seraph, a bright smile formed on his face as he ran towards him. Suddenly the whole world felt right again and Cas quickly tugged their mouths together into a fiery kiss.

‘I’ve missed you…’ he whispered. Ramiel smiled, ‘I’ve missed you too darling.’ Cas finally pulled away to take a look around. The place was obviously some sort of wedding venue. ‘Why are we here? What surprise did you want to show me?’

The other angel was all excitement now, ‘I was talking to Jack ‘bout it. And after getting his permission I felt the time was right.’ He went down on one knee. ‘Castiel, you are the love of my life. And I want us to be together forever. Will you please become my mate and bond with me?’

Cas could feel his heart leap with joy, he must’ve been crying for he couldn’t use his voice. But he was vigorously nodding. ‘Oh yes, yes yes!’ And with those words he gave his consent. And he could feel the beginning of their bond take place.

Their grace was connected now. Jack was applauding now, all happy excitement.

‘Oh, this is going to be great! Congratulations! I’m going to pick up Sam and Dean real quick and we can have the ceremony.’ Ramiel pulled a concerned face. And Cas immediately felt his joyous mood swing around into fear and sadness. Had he said something wrong? Had Jack said something wrong?

‘Are you ok? Ramiel talk to me, what’s wrong?’ The angel shook his head, attempting a forced smile. ‘Nothing, I just want you to be happy.’ Cas wouldn’t budge though.

‘Jack wait a sec alright? I need to talk to my mate.’ The Nephilim nodded.

‘Baby talk to me. You can tell me anything alright?’ Cas insisted. But Ramiel was pulling away again. Cas was starting to feel desperate. His mate must’ve seen his fear for he finally relented.

‘It’s just that. You are my family. And soon Jack, Sam and Dean will be as well. I just wanted this one moment… to be completely ours you know? Just the two of us. With Jack as our witness…’

And Cas felt truly touched by those words. For it made perfect sense to him now why his lover was hesitant. ‘It’s ok, they won’t mind I assure you. They’ll understand trust me. I agree. I just want this to be between you and me, it’s our bond after all.’ And he covered the seraph’s face in kisses. And finally Ramiel smiled again and the world was right again.

‘Alright, alright. Easy sweetie.’ He chuckled.

Jack saw their argument was over and was already making his plans. ‘So you want me to fetch Sam and Dean?’ He asked. Cas shook his head.

‘That won’t be necessary. We’re planning to just… elope.’ Jack smile faded away.

‘But… you’re basically getting married. Don’t you want everyone to be there to celebrate?’ He asked. Ramiel shook his head, ‘Jack, bonding is quite sacred. We want you to be our witness. We can celebrate with the lads, later on, trust me.’

Jack seemed to hesitate, something Cas felt was strange. Why wouldn’t he just listen? Jack turned to look at Cas with a frown now. ‘Your heart is beating really fast Cas.’ He murmured. And he was right of course. Cas felt like he could hardly breathe, he was filled with so much joy.

Jack finally put on a smile though. ‘I’m going to get you some flowers though. Will make this a lot prettier. I’ll uhm… I’ll be right back!’ He disappeared. Ramiel’s smile faded and he turned to Cas with a serious expression.

‘Our bond is taking form, you’ll be able to fly using my grace. I need you to do something for me.’ Cas nodded vigorously. Whatever his mate needed from him. Ramiel took hold of him carefully.

‘Me love, I need ya to fetch Jack for us. He’s a bit confused you see? He’s going to get himself hurt so try to get to him before Sam and Dean alright? They wouldn’t understand.’ He kissed his lips gently. ‘Do whatever it takes to get him back here understood?’

Cas let out a content sight. ‘As you wish.’

**Ω**

Turned out it was a lot messier than Cas expected. Jack was acting irrationally. He kept struggling and he was too powerful. Sam had tried to pull them apart so Cas remembered he needed to do whatever it took. He pulled out his angel blade and stabbed himself in the shoulder.

Everyone stopped moving now. Dean was talking to him but he was making no sense. Talking about cupids and love spells and whatnot. ‘Jack come with me. Or else I will kill myself.’ He spoke calmly, knowing he wasn’t really afraid of dying anymore. He had done it way too often after all.

Jack seemed terrified and slowly moved toward him. Sam was talking now, making even less sense than Dean had. When Cas had Jack in a tight grip he flew. And before he knew it he was back to his beloved. ‘We’re back!’

Jack was looking quite pale and quiet. Cas guessed he was just nervous about the whole ordeal. He was glad he wasn’t getting cold feet yet. Ramiel had done some preparations in the meantime. He’d set up a table with two big empty bottles.

On the ground Cas noticed a whole lot more in a suitcase. All of them filled with what must be grace. Cas had never seen so much grace in one place.

He didn’t bother asking about it.

Ramiel smiled, looking incredibly pleased. ‘Well done sweetheart, did the Winchester’s get in the way?’ He asked. Cas shrugged and showed off his wound. It was already healing.

‘It took some convincing. But I’m ready to start when you are?’ He gave Ramiel a hopeful look and the other angel smiled.

‘You’re not getting away with this!’ Jack warned his eyes already glowing gold. Cas protectively put a wing in front of his mate. Ramiel pushed it aside gently.

‘It’s ok. I’ve got this.’ He said confidently, he sauntered up to Jack and looked him over. ‘Do you really want to ruin this day for Castiel? Look how happy he is, he would be devastated if it went wrong. It might even kill him to be apart from me.’

Jack shook his head, ‘this is all your fault. You knew he was hit with a cupid’s arrow. And you took advantage of him.’ He was shouting now. ‘Don’t underestimate me, I’m no ordinary Nephilim, I could destroy you want the snap of my fingers.’

Ramiel didn’t seem very worried. ‘But you won’t because Cas and I are already half bonded. And if I die, he’ll surely take his own life. The pain of losing your mate… it's maddening I tell ya.’ Ramiel pointed at the bottles.

‘You know what makes mating season so great? All those angels, perfect little soldier the lot of ‘em. They be desperate for companionship. You only have to bat your eyelashes at them and they will mate you.’

Jack stared at the bottles and then at Cas. Cas simply smiled and waved, he was unsure why he wasn’t adding anything to the conversation. But he guessed it didn’t matter much.

‘I’ve seen many types of angels in me time. Virtues, Grigori's, I’ve even collected the grace of a principality.’ He spread out his arms, ‘all of this is only the tip of the iceberg. I’ve collected the entire history of my kind in mere bottles!’

He pointed to Jack, ‘but you, yes you sure are special. And from the moment I heard about ya, I knew I needed to collect you as well. I’ve never managed to get me hands on one of your kind.’

Jack’s eyes landed on the table, the two bottles suddenly held a very different meaning. He pushed past Ramiel and headed for Cas. Once he was in arm distant he started speaking frantically. ‘Can’t you see we’re in danger? He wants to kill you!’ He was shaking him now.

Cas frowned, ‘what are you talking about Jack. He _loves_ me.’

Ramiel laughed, a harsh throaty sound. ‘You think you be talkin’ sense into him? The moment Chamuel touched him he was lost. She marked his heart lad.’

Jack shook his head. His eyes glowed golden now. ‘Then I guess I’ll just have to remove it then.’ His pushed at Castiel’s chest, and the seraph felt like he was dying. He pushed back desperately and Ramiel hit Jack with the strength of his wings.

Jack lost balance and Cas quickly backed off. It felt like he was on fire from the inside out. His heart was burning. ‘Why did you do that Jack? After all, we’ve been through you wanted to _kill_ me?’ His mind was spinning. For he felt strange all of a sudden.

Where was Dean? Where was he again? Ramiel reached for him carefully, ‘are you alright my love?’ And a part of Cas felt yearning and adoration for the other seraph. As he remembered exactly why he was here. But a small part of him nagged at his mind. Wondered why Jack would be so furious with Ramiel.

‘I’m fine. Did he hurt you?’ Ramiel shook his head, ‘I’m fine. But I was worried there for a second. Jack won’t calm down. I fear his powers have finally turned him insane.’ Cas could feel his heart sink. Ramiel gave him a knowing look, ‘we need to end his misery.’

And a part of Cas knew something was very, very wrong with that statement. But Ramiel was already putting himself in danger by walking straight up to Jack. A voice spoke up, it sounded familiar and Cas felt like it had been ages since he’d last heard it.

‘You better stay away from our son _lad_.’ It was Dean, and next to him was Sam, looking just as pissed. Cas felt confused, how had they gotten here so quickly? How did they even know? Rowena appeared next, looking tired and irritated.

‘This the right place?’ She asked. Dean nodded and she looked around. ‘Grand, I’ll be going. Your beloved car is down the road you can make your own way back.’ With those words she disappeared again. Cas was impressed, that was quite some powerful magic.

Dean held up Castiel's phone. 'You forgot this buddy.' Cas frowned, that explained a lot. He wanted to reply but felt himself space out. Why did that keep happening? Jack was shouting to the Winchesters and Sam was pouncing on Ramiel. Cas could hear himself shout, already making his way towards his mate to smite his attackers.

But someone was holding him back. It was Dean. ‘Cas focus! It’s going to be alright…’ Cas pushed him off with ease. He felt wild, his focus solely on whoever was hurting his mate. He pushed the tall man off with ease, but the younger one was powerful and his eyes started to glow and-

It happened with practised ease. Ramiel took out his blade and cut Jack’s throat. It was a big slice, all across his neck. He stared down in shock as he grace started to pour out with ease. The bottle filled itself quickly and Ramiel didn’t bother closing the wound as he took a step backwards. Jack fell down, unconscious and his throat started bleeding.

Something in Cas snapped at the sight. ‘Jack?’ He mumbled. He pushed past everything to get to his son, ‘Jack wake up!’ Ramiel was talking to him, trying to soothe him. But Cas would have none of that. He quickly healed Jack’s wounds and he started gasping for air his eyes widening.

For a moment Castiel felt completely clear-headed. How dared Ramiel hurt his family? He stood up to face the angel. He was still holding the bottle of grace.

He snapped his fingers and his small collection disappeared, including Jack’s grace. ‘Babe, are you alright?’ He asked. But Cas ignored the tugging of his heart. ‘How dare you hurt him? How dare you _touch_ him!’

Sam had turned his attention to Jack and Dean stood by with watchful eyes, not sure how to proceed. Ramiel lowered his wings to appeal to his better nature. ‘I did it to protect you Castiel. I love you so much. I would never, ever do anything to intentionally hurt you.’

Dean laughed, ‘I mean, you’re a lying piece of shit. But what makes you think you’re getting out here alive?’ And Cas suddenly felt threatened, because sure he was angry. But what Ramiel had said was true. He did love Cas, and he loved him too.

And Dean thought he could have just about anything huh? Ramiel seemed to see this shift in Cas’ expression. ‘Who do you think you are Dean Winchester. For years you’ve treated Castiel like a dog. Like a tool you could use. And now you just expect him to turn back with you? There is not a day in which I have not shown him how much I care for him!’

And Ramiel was right of course, for that was exactly what he’d done. He turned to Dean, his blade in hand. And green eyes looked at him with a pleading look. And he found that anger inside of him. The pain of rejection, the sadness, the loneliness. He felt all of it channel inside of him. And he raised his arm, and his heart was burning again.

And without hesitation he stabbed Ramiel. The angel looked at him with a shocked expression. And then he looked down at the blade and whispered: ‘Your aim is off.’

His own angel blade in hand he cut through Cas’ body, violently grabbed for his grace. And as Cas lost consciousness he could hear Ramiel say: ‘I’m breaking our bond.’


	4. Sets our hearts at liberty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is not the end of their story. I can't wait to punch Ramiel in the face.

For a while Cas stayed fast asleep. Dean refused to leave his side though. Ramiel had disappeared and all that was left to do was pick up the pieces the bastard had left behind. So Sam offered to support Jack and Dean carried Cas to the Impala.

Once everyone was seated he started driving. No breaks, no drinking and no food was consumed. He drove until the sun started to rise again, and then they all slept in the car. Dean didn’t sleep. He simply stared out of the window and finally took a sip of water. Then he started to drive again.

Once they reached the Bunker Jack mentioned he was feeling alright. They brought Cas to his room and Dean had seated himself next to the bed. And the next morning he was still there, waiting.

They called Rowena so she could check on him once he woke up. When he did he seemed utterly confused. His shocked expression as he must’ve realized what had happened made Dean’s heart shatter.

But then Cas did something he had not expected. The angel produced a wail. He got louder and louder, tears streaming down his face as he curled up into himself. Sam and Rowena barged into the room immediately, thinking something horrible had happened.

They couldn’t console him, he was hysterical. ‘My mate.’ He wailed, ‘our bond. It’s gone! _It's goneeeeee_!’ They left Rowena alone with the new human for a bit.

Sam assured him that it was a natural reaction. ‘He was under a powerful love spell and they already had the beginning of a bond Dean. Not only did he just fall but he’s also human now. He must be devastated. We need to give him time.’

Time was all they had.

**Ω**

The first time Cas left his room to eat something, Dean couldn’t help his own excitement. It had to be a good sign. He’d found him sitting at the table, eating a sandwich. Dean was unsure whether he should walk in or not. Cas had been distant ever since the Ramiel thing.

He only spoke with Jack, and the kid was distant too. Both had taken their Fall pretty hard. If Dean wasn’t looking out for his family, he was busy with Sam. They’d been tracking down Ramiel for a while now, and once they found him Dean would not hesitate to send him to the Void himself.

Life had to go on, so he and Sam went on a hunt or two. Jack slowly started to act like himself again, and the kid needed to learn how to defend himself if he was going to survive. Cas would often accompany Jack to teach him things.

But he never made eye contact with anyone. One evening Dean asked Jack about it. ‘I think he’s blaming himself for what happened.’ He said.

They needed a way for Cas to get his groove back.

They all went out on a hunt. They soon figured out that a starving ahuizotl was killing kids. The thing shouldn’t even be on the darn continent and was incredibly vicious. Even scaring off a coven of witches. When they couldn’t figure out a way to gank the creature Cas had spoken for the first time in weeks. ‘There is only one way to kill an ahuizotl. You need to drown it in oil and then set it on fire.’

Sam had smiled and Dean had thanked the ex-angel profusely. They’d headed out with a solid plan. And returned with pale faces and a lot of half-bandaged wounds.

Cas had looked horrified. As if on instinct, he reached out to touch Dean’s forehead to heal him. But he stopped himself. Dean couldn’t stand seeing his friend in this much of a state so he spoke up: ‘It was a bit messy, but we managed. I know it looks bad, but I’m fine so-’

Castiel’s blue eyes could’ve burned holes through his damn skull. Dean shivered, it was the first time that Cas had actually looked him in the eyes. ‘You think this is funny? You two went in, without any backup. To hunt a dangerous monster and you just shrug it off?’ Jack had been quietly cleaning a bite wound on Sam’s arm but he stopped.

‘I’m sure Dean was just saying that… it went a lot better than he’d expected.’ He offered.

Cas huffed and pulled Dean towards the chair. ‘Sit down.’ He grumbled.

They sat quietly for a while as Jack and Cas assisted them in cleaning their wounds. Jack was still fumbling around a bit, but Cas was a quick learner. When he was done he pointed towards the bed and raised an eyebrow when Dean at first refused to move.

Dean finally stood up, maybe they’d been too early with bringing Cas and Jack with them on hunts again? Maybe it was selfish, but he just wanted things to go back to normal. He turned to lay down, staring sourly as he saw Cas and Sam fight over the couch. It seemed Cas eventually won because Sam fell down on the other bed and was snoring within seconds.

Jack made himself comfortable on the single twin. When the last light was out Dean closed his eyes. And for some reason he imagined the feathers he still had in his room. Castiel’s feathers.

The image got ruined though, for he remembered Cas’ empty stare at the wedding venue. The only thing that had managed to get an actual reaction out of him was Jack getting hurt. He knew what it was like when you fell in love against your will. He felt sick to his stomach simply thinking about it. But as he turned to look at Cas’ silhouette he noticed that the ex-angel was not on the couch. Short panic quickly died away once he noticed the bathroom door was slightly ajar.

He stood up, carefully as to not wake anyone up. The pain in his arm was intense, but worth it. For he found Cas sitting on the ground rubbing his back against the wall.

‘What are you doing?’ He asked stupefied. Cas looked startled and quickly stood up. ‘Sorry I had an itch. Did I wake you up?’ Dean should have felt ecstatic that Cas was having an actual conversation with him. But he felt worried.

‘Yeah, back itches can be the worst. Need any help with it?’ Cas shook his head, it was only then that Dean noticed how tired his friend looked. ‘Alright, whatever you need.’ He wasn’t sure what to do now. He didn’t want to leave Cas behind, but he also found it hard to find a reason to stay. Eventually he turned away and Cas spoke up softly.

‘It’s my wings.’ Dean stopped moving, his attention on Cas immediately.

‘I thought your wings were gone?’

Cas nodded, ‘they are, but sometimes it’s like a phantom limb. I know it’s gone, but I still feel the need to groom.’ Dean wasn’t sure what that meant but didn’t dare ask.

‘You want me to like… scratch your back for ya?’ He instead offered. Cas shook his head.

‘It’s fine. Goodnight Dean.’ He was being dismissed again. Instead of resisting like he normally would he simply nodded. Before closing the door though he turned around.

‘The couch is pretty shitty. There’s enough room in the bed for both of us.’ He smiled, ‘but you don’t have to. Just offering that’s all.’ He closed the door carefully and went back to bed.

He could feel himself starting to get drowsy. He was going to fix this mess, and once things were back to normal, Dean sure he and Cas could also go back to normal.

He felt the blanket move and could feel someone settle on the other side of the bed. He smiled when he felt Cas reaching out for him. He pretended to sleep as Cas carefully huddled closer to him.

For a moment both could pretend that nothing else mattered.


End file.
